Here's what REALLY happened at that so-called "party" last weekend. My idea of a PARTY is a GIANT SPRINKLER in the middle of a giant field of DIRT with BIG bowls of TREATS around the perimeter and DOZENS of dogs and some HUMONGOUS trees for shade! And NO LEASHES!!!
INSTEAD it was Sahara desert hot and the only shady areas were already crowded with useless tables and people and dogs who got there before us. We were right next to the Albemarle Canal, but were we ALLOWED to swim in it? NO! Instead I was supposed to cool off by standing in 3 inches of water in a KIDDIE POOL! Whenever I tried to play with another dog, our people made us stop because our leashes got tangled. Get a clue, folks: TAKE OFF THE LEASHES!!!
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, a woman arrived with a PUPPY. Now puppies are okay by me. I actually WAS a puppy once. However, when my Mom and Dad started to ignore me and gush over that pup, well, WOOF on that! I couldn't BELIEVE my ears when I heard MY Dad say he wished he could KEEP HER!? What was he thinking? Isn't one terrorist enough?
Maybe it's because I've been so good lately (okay, okay, good is a RELATIVE term). HA! It's time to LIVEN THIS PARTY UP!
Cue the panting and pulling Mom toward the tents. "Aw, poor Toby, it's so hot, let's go get some shade." She's so gullible. Ya gotta love her.
So we get to one of the tables and I wait for her to get INTERESTED and DISTRACTED by whatever papers and brochures and things are up there.
SPROING!! I gotta tell ya, Kobe Bryant's got nothing on THESE legs! I was perched on that table as if by magic! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wait, it gets better. After all the people got over their SHOCK AND AWE and the other dogs are JEALOUS of all the attention I got, Mom actually mosies over to the OTHER TABLE! Well, I figured the jumping thing was been there, done that. So again I wait like a good doggie at the end of the leash. Then, oh so casually, I creep under the table, around the table leg, and then - I run to the end of the leash as fast as I can! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Betcha next time we go to a party there will be a SPRINKLER!!!
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